Lessons from 2014

2014 is coming to an end and one thing I learned this year (that I have had a very hard time accepting) is that things don't always turn out the way we plan them to. If I saw this version of myself an year ago, I would probably have an anxiety attack and get myself hospitalized. But the thing is, I feel alright. Yes. Things are as far as they could possibly get from where I expected them to be, but it isn't bad at all.

I would say the biggest thing that has happened to me this year was turning 18. I was actually very excited about becoming an ''adult" but honestly, reality was a little bit disappointing. I am not doing any "adult" stuff at all, apart from managing my own bank account which I don't really have to use because -you guessed it- I don't actually have any money. The only thing being 18 has done for me is reminding myself that I need to start acting like a mature person now and that is a terrifying thought. One of my other 18 year old friends told me yesterday that she couldn't sleep the night before because she kept thinking about how she is 18 now and she is going to get old really soon. I am sure we are being very immature about this, but it's only because we feel like we are not doing much to make our last remaining teenage years count.

I am usually very distant from people. The mere thought of opening up to people and giving them my attention and time kind of freaks me out. So naturally, I suck at relationships. This year, however, I have been a lot more open to new relationships and I have met a lot of amazing people along the way. I think meeting and associating with different types of people has taught me a lot about myself that I would not have known otherwise. I am not going to lie. I have commitment issues. The thought of being stuck in the same place, doing the same thing for too long scares me. I always feel the need to keep moving and changing, but I have learned that staying still isn't always a bad thing and what was meant to happen will happen anyway, so there is really no need to worry about it.

On the academic front, this year has been a disaster of epic proportions. It is safe to say that I have given up and I know I have disappointed everyone who cares about me, and I am sorry but "It's my life, whatever I wanna do." That's a Vennu Mallesh reference, by the way. I haven't given up on my goals. I just feel like the path I chose to get to it, wasn't one that would work for me. I will never stop wanting to learn new things, which is why doing so badly at school feels like dying. YES. I HAVE ALSO TURNED INTO AN EMO FREAK ALONG THE WAY. DEAL WITH IT!

In general, this year has been surprisingly good. I have evolved (I am a Pokemon. What up!) as a person. I still need to work on the part where I act like mature and responsible "adult" though. For the first time in a long time, I actually know what I want to do with my life. However, unlike this time last year, I have no idea where I want to be the next year, and for some reason, that doesn't bother me at all. I have learned to accept that things don't always work out the way we want them to, but it will all be alright in the end. It's funny how we say things like "2015, be good to me." I mean, think about it. No year is inherently a "good year" or a "bad year", it is what you do with the 365 days you are given that defines what kind of year it is going to be, So guys, make 2015 a good year. :D

Doctor Who and other deep things.

I am not a sage and my life experiences are fairly limited, but if there is anything I've learned it is to always keep moving forward. It's too easy to press the pause button on life and watch the world pass you by. Don't do that. Every tick of your clock, every minute and every second of your day is what your life is made of. Whenever you face a problem, know that it is not as big as it seems. We are part of a greater world and a greater universe. If that's not humbling, I don't know what is.

Okay. So how did I suddenly become so deep? Doctor Who.
My friends have been asking me to watch it for a while now, but only recently have I started watching it seriously. I have only just started series 5, but that show is already a drug to me. I love it! I love all the weird aliens and and planets. It makes me appreciate life a little bit more. And for some reason, I know that whatever happens, I will get through it. Doctor Who is not just a TV show. It's an experience. It makes you laugh and cry and most importantly, it always leaves you craving for more. It is now my little escape from reality. I am a happy person right now.

The friendzone is not that bad

Let me just start this off by saying that I am the farthest thing to a love guru as there could possibly be. However as a teenager with normal amounts of raging hormones, it is natural to get attracted to people. It happens to all of us.

I think something almost everyone complains about these days is getting friendzoned. It's not something only guys face. Girls get friendzoned too. I know it can suck sometimes to know that the only person you are extremely attracted to only sees you "as a friend". Initially I thought the friendzone was a creation of the devil himself. "Why do nice people always get friendzoned", right? But then I realised that the world doesn't owe me anything for being a good friend. In fact, if I think the other person should date me just because I'm so nice to him, that kind of makes me the a-hole.

This man knows what he is talking about.

I don't think we appreciate pure platonic relationships as much as we should. There is something really nice in just being able to talk to a person about every single thing in the universe and just hang out and have a good time without having to worry too much about hurting them. Girls and guys can be "just friends" and it is not something to be upset about. If someone friendzones you, they just don't think you're the one for them and that's okay. Being friendzoned is not an insult. Just move on and know that you're not being punished for "being nice". In fact, you're not being punished at all.

I know a lot of you would disagree with me on this and that's okay too. It's okay to be upset about it.

I'm just saying being friendzoned might not really be as bad a predicament as we think it is. :)

Boating on a lake

I am pretty sure you don't lose your sleep wondering where I live, but I'll tell you anyway. I live in Fuvahmulah. I personally think it is one of the best places to live in Maldives unless you are the kind of person that gets sick very often. In that case, SAVE YOUR SOUL. SERIOUSLY! But I suppose the same could be said about any other island in the Maldives. I would like to think that the authorities are trying very hard to improve the health facilities in the islands. Whether it works or not is no mystery to us. Anyway, that is not what I wanted to talk about.

Living in Fuvahmulah, it would be a shame not to go out and enjoy life. I am guilty of shutting myself in for weeks on end, binge-watching TV, reading, sleeping and silently and observantly scrolling down social media sites like an assassin ready to attack. You can simply put that down to me being lazy. Yesterday, I did something more productive though. I woke up at around 5.30 and headed to the lake with my aunt, cousin and some friends. We went to the Lake House Restaurant which is located near Bandaara Kilhi, one of the freshwater lakes here in Fuvahmulah. If you ever come to Fuvahmulah, I highly recommend dining there. Anyway, we got on three boats. One was just a regular paddle boat. The other was a bigger one with two wooden oars and the other was a tiny canoe. We just rowed down the water and it was heaven. 

A few minutes before sunrise. 

Holy sunrise.

As the sun rose from behind the foliage, it was as if we had entered a utopia of fresh water, fish, birds and natural beauty. Moving around the lake evoked a mixture of serenity and excitement. I had been meaning to go boating on the lake for a while but it was the first time that I actually did it. I honestly had no idea Fuvahmulah had such a diverse wildlife until then. I was constantly surprised by the different varieties of birds and fish flying and swimming around me. Growing up I had always heard of a bird that is locally known as "Vali Kukulhu" which literally translates to "jungle chicken". It's known as 'Common Moorhen" (a.k.a. swamp chicken)  in English. I didn't know was that it floats on the water like a duck. SO OBVIOUSLY I WAS VERY DELIGHTED WHEN I SAW IT FLOATING LIKE THAT. Throughout our entire time there, birds continuously kept playing the music of their people which was extremely relaxing.

As the morning progressed, the fish started to come out from where ever they were hiding. They moved away from our canoe in a large group as we moved forward. In a way, it was almost as if they were an army of guards protecting a royal procession. Yes.I like to let my imagination run wild from time to time. It actually reminded me of a scene in Ponyo where Ponyo's little sisters/brothers turn into giant fish that form a huge wave that carries Ponyo to Sosuke. (Side note: Watch Ponyo if you want to watch something intoxicating.)

We took a quick break and climbed on the land on one side of the lake for a while. This was the view from there.

Auntie dearest.

Half way through our time on the lake, we called the restaurant and ordered breakfast. They had actually set up food in a boat so we could eat in the water, but we were so exhausted after being on water for three hours that we decided to eat on land instead. We had mas'huni and roshi  for breakfast  which was obviously delicious. To sum it up, I had an amazing day yesterday and if you are ever in Fuvahmulah, go boating in Bandaara Kilhi. You will not regret it. I promise.

Poached egg rage

I woke up this morning super hungry and I realised I had nothing to eat. I decided I wanted to learn how to make poached eggs because I was honestly craving them. So as expected, I looked up a couple of recipes on the Internet.

A few minutes later, armed with all the kitchen utensils I can get my hands on, I began what I like to think of as the most frustrating culinary adventure of my life. I was going to make poached eggs, no matter how many 'chicken embryos' I had to sacrifice for the cause.

The people on the Internet told me that its easier to poach fresh eggs compared to the normal imported eggs we get around here. Well, thanks to the great chicken massacre that happened around here a few years ago, fresh eggs are almost unheard of.

This is what failure looks like.

Okay so I failed three times before I made something that was even remotely edible. It was frustrating watching everything fall apart every single time. And it did not help me to think about how much water or how many eggs I was wasting with every attempt. I almost wanted to give up, but I didn't want to until I had something to eat on my plate.

On the right, is the runny mess which I call my first attempt.

After the third try, I took some time to breathe, because by this point, my emotions were all over the place. I decided that I was going to muster all the patience within me and actually make something edible this time around. And so I did. I actually managed to make something that I could eat. WHOAA, right?

Well here it is. Well it does not look like the ones you get at restaurants, but at least it was edible.

It didn't look particularly good, but I was brimming with happiness because I finally managed to make something that I could at least eat. It was almost 1 PM now, and I had not eaten anything all day, so it was actually a really big deal. But first, I wanted to reheat the toast in the microwave for a little while. So I carefully placed the egg on a little plate on the dining table and turned my back on it to heat the toast.

When I turned around, my grandmother was standing by the table and well, she seemed happy. I looked down at the plate I had kept the egg on and VOILA! The egg was gone. I asked her if she had just eaten the egg I kept on the plate and of course, she did. Well, at least someone got to taste it. :)

So here I am, munching on some toast, just wondering what that egg I poached would have tasted like. Well it is certainly not the end of  the world. I could always try again some other time and hopefully make it look like the ones on those fancy cooking shows. There is always hope. YES, THERE IS.

Some motivation for the last minute people.

So my AS exams are less than a month away and I have decided to start studying. YAY!
Since I started grade 11, I haven't really studied much. While it is not something I am particularly proud of, it is also not something I can go back and change.

So here I am, huddled on a seat by my window, watching the rain pour (not exactly, I included that in there for, well, drama) , learning everything I didn't learn for the past few months. This might not get me straight A's but at least I will be happy knowing I tried. 

If you are a very last minute person like I am, how can you stay motivated and get good grades?
Well, the key is to keep your expectations really really low. Let's be realistic. You had eight months to study, probably a hundred chapters to cover with all the subjects you are doing combined, but you chose to  do all that work in the very last month. You probably won't do as well as the ones who had been working hard since the very beginning. But that is the other thing, in life, you are not really in a competition with anyone else. I read somewhere, "The only person worth competing with is the person you were yesterday." And it's true. You don't know  how many times that quote has changed my mood from a depressed lunatic to a female Bob Marley.

If you constantly keep on comparing yourself with other people that is really not going to do you any good. As the people of the great Interwebs say, "No matter how good you are at something, there is always an 8 year old Asian that is better than you." I am not trying to demotivate you, I promise.

I  also realise that a lot of you can't afford to be all relaxed about failing an exam. Your parents and teachers probably expect a lot from you and it is driving you crazy that you might end up disappointing them. OH THE HORROR, right? Well, I go through that too. But ultimately, it's my life. Why should I study? I had a conversation with a friend last night and he told me "Screw people. Study for yourself." Wow. His quotes in freaking Italics. I swear to god, he must be very proud of himself if he reads this. But he is right, you know. You are doing this for yourself. You are doing this to be independent. You are doing this to be able to get a good job and afford everything you had to go without. You are doing this because you want to.

So my advice, just let go of all the pressures and just indulge in learning. Be enchanted by every new concept that comes your way. Celebrate every little Math problem that you manage to solve and basically, just enjoy learning... for yourself. It might not make you better than everyone else, but you will be better than the person you were yesterday, and I'm sure your future self will thank you for it. That is all the motivation that you need, really.